True love is we stick together in "thick and thin". Especially when it's thin, when it's troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the "troubled water". That's what they say in English. But most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our partners. He might leave you, he might stay with you, because you're nice or not nice. But you fail yourself. You leave yourself. You leave the most noble being that you really are. So we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. Most of the time in critical situations, we just turn our backs and that is no good.
 
Of course we have our anger, our frustrations¹, because our partners are not as loving as usual, or whomever that is; but he or she is in a different situation. At that time, she or he is in mental suffering. It's just as bad or even worse than physical suffering. Physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right away; or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with them.
 
But when they are in mental anguish², and we pound them more on that, and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even more cruel, even worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering. And especially they trust us as the next of kin³, the next person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish⁴, because they didn't treat us nice so we just want to revenge. That's not the time. You can revenge later, when he's in better shape. Just slap him.
 
Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. It's not really lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. Right? "Hand me that coat! Quick! Quick! Quick!" Things like that. But normally, you would say "Honey, please, can you give me that coat." Is that not so? (Audience: Yes.) Or when you're in pain -- for example stomach pain, heartache or whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.
 
Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy⁵ way, very cross. But that is understandable. So if we -- any so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then we're finished. Then we are really in a bad situation. It's not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem. The problem is us. The problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. So do not make less of a being of yourselves.



  

1 frustrations
挫折( frustration的名词复数 )； 失败； 挫败； 失意
参考例句：
The temptation would grow to take out our frustrations on Saigon. 由于我们遭到挫折而要同西贡算帐的引诱力会增加。 Aspirations will be raised, but so will frustrations. 人们会产生种种憧憬，但是种种挫折也会随之而来。

2 anguish
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼
参考例句：
She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。 The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。

3 kin
n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的
参考例句：
He comes of good kin.他出身好。 She has gone to live with her husband's kin.她住到丈夫的亲戚家里去了。

4 snobbish
adj.势利的，谄上欺下的
参考例句：
She's much too snobbish to stay at that plain hotel.她很势利，不愿住在那个普通旅馆。 I'd expected her to be snobbish but she was warm and friendly.我原以为她会非常势利，但她却非常热情和友好。

5 grouchy
adj.好抱怨的；愠怒的
参考例句：
Grouchy people are always complaining for no reason.满腹牢骚的人总是毫无理由地抱怨。 Sometimes she is grouchy, but all in all she is an excellent teacher.有时候她的脾气很坏，但总的来说她还是一位好老师。